Learn From My Mistakes

Short story of how I break life chaos into small, solvable problems - 3 min read.

We landed in the USA with five pounds (2.5 kg) of pure stress - a Yorkie named W (“da-bee”). She identifies as human and loathes other dogs.

Did you know Yorkies need regular haircuts? Yeah, real wilderness survivors. Every other pet I’d owned was a cat - zero exposure to such vanity workouts. So we hauled W to the local grooming “salon” and discovered unlike in our home-country:

• Instead of a quick in-and-out, they keep your pup for three hours, complete with a mid-procedure “break” (translation: cage time, where panic marinates to perfection).

• The whole ordeal costs 4x my haircut.

• I could shrug off the first problem - life is life, it is what it is, yadda yadda. 

My wife, however, was furious about W’s post-spa trauma (yes, W is her dog; I’m just the emergency thunder-storm rescuer).

But I was livid about the price tag.

When she asked if she should just learn to groom the Yorkie herself, I became the most enthusiastic cheerleader on Earth.

We bought pet-grooming tools, and she began her “new career” with a confidence I’ve never seen in the kitchen.

Fun fact: the main difference between pet scissors and regular hair shears? Rounded tips. Apparently to prevent intentional stabbings when your client refuses to be a good girl/boy/them.

So when COVID hit, it was a no-brainer: we had tools and an in-house stylist.

My monthly trims moved to our bathroom. The first cut landed squarely between “Don’t worry, it’ll grow back” and “Delete my number.” 

The second was better. And by the third attempt it almost looked (dare I say) human.

As a result I still get home haircuts - and, ironically, it makes zero financial sense. Salon visits every few weeks are still cheaper than marriage. I'm officially banned from doing the math, but my gut insists we're nowhere near breakeven.

But, this is not the moral of the story.

Keyword: repurpose. It’s more than reusing stuff—we’re re-tooling skills. Translation: use what you have, where you are, whenever you can. So I sat, looked around, and asked, “What else deserves a second life?”

Hardware Edition

• Dishwasher ⇒ Baseball-Cap Washer
  No spin cycle, no bent brims—just minor emotional trauma, which is fine.

• Conference Tote ⇒ Grocery Bag
  Nobody cares that “FinTech Synergy 2019” is stamped on the side—least of all the bananas.

• Ethernet Cable ⇒ Emergency Jump Rope
  Still puzzled why I kept it in the age of gigabit Wi-Fi, but hey—cardio.

• Old T-Shirt ⇒ Premium “Microfiber” Cloth
  Same cotton, better branding. Adds a dash of style to cleaning day.

Skill Edition

• Notion Wizard ⇒ Meal-Prep Maestro
  Sync the “Last-Chance Produce” database with a sheet-pan recipe; peppers roast instead of rot.

• Sales Negotiator ⇒ Vegetable Diplomat
  Closed a six-figure deal? Great. Now broker peace between a six-year-old and broccoli.

• Agile Pro ⇒ Weekly Family Retro
  “What went well? What can we improve? Who left dishes in the sprint backlog?” End with action items—plus cookies.

• Speechwriter ⇒ Apology-Note Ghostwriter
  Craft an airtight “I forgot our anniversary” note: concise, accountable, persuasive. Footnotes optional; flowers mandatory.

Feel free to cherry-pick, mash up, or exaggerate - repurposing isn’t just thrifty; it’s half the fun.

And if you've maxed out every tool, toy, and talent - repurpose the Yorkie herself: W is now our "Porch Alarm," barking at mail carriers like they're invading aliens. Amazon drivers have started leaving packages at the curb with respectful bows.

Five pounds of attitude, freshly trimmed.

Till next time.

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