Learn From My Mistakes

Short story of how I break life chaos into small, solvable problems - 2 min read.

My wife hates when I’m straightforward with people.

We grew up in different worlds, so our views on life are “a bit” different.

Her default: people are good until proven otherwise.
My factory setting: people are jerks until proven otherwise.

Consequences: she often ends up disappointed.
Me? Never.

She still stays nice (endless patience, zero drama).
I learned not to miss a chance to call things out.

There is a group of self-proclaimed witches (ok, I did that): my wife and her two friends. Let’s call them L and M for conspiracy.

L stands for Lena. M stands for Marina. The names are real. The situations are allegedly fictional.

Once in a while, the ladies gather to wind down with a glass of Prosecco or Aperol (whatever that is). Usually at our place. My wife is their glue.

M is always on time. L is always late. Not by 5 or 10 minutes. By 30 to infinity.

This is an imaginary problem (yup, my imagination is wild).

In my universe, L qualifies as a jerk. She has never missed a flight and showed up on time for her naturalization. Being late isn’t a mental disorder. It’s a choice.

Which sets my course of action.

If I’m around when L is late, I greet her: “Hey honey. What time were you invited? Six? It’s 6:35. Other than disrespect, any reason you’re late every time?”

Eye contact. Awkward silence. Crickets. Sunset.

Why?

L lives a 3-minute drive or a 17-minute walk away (okay, she never walks).

Here’s the twist: when I call it out, I’m the rude jerk. I feel the hate, and I don’t get why.

Why hate someone for being sincere?

I admire people who give blunt feedback. (Great chance to roast this newsletter. Hit reply and dump the truth. I’ll treat it like a free audit, not an attack.)

Why point out lateness? Because acting like nothing happened never fixes anything.

Why fix it?

Great question. Simple example. Hypothetical, perhaps.

One Sunday we planned a multi-family brunch. M’s family, L’s family, and ours. Chinese buffet.

Guess who didn’t show up until we finished eating?

Predictably, I was the jerk who didn’t want to wait while L settled in, got her food, and finished it.

M’s husband caught my mood, so we paid and waited outside for 15 minutes while the other two “witches” tried to look nice and chatted like nothing happened.

Lesson learned?

Besides me being the “difficult person,” there was no lesson for either party.

But I kept my integrity.

If you can make it on time for what matters to you, I won’t tolerate you being late when it concerns me.

Being late is easy. Calling it out is hard.

I’m not mad. I’m documenting. If you arrive 40 minutes late, the logbook will reflect it.

Respect is a timestamp, not a feeling.

We’ll probably never meet. Be on time anyway. For everyone.

Till next time.

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$5 Day, 8 Hours: On January 5, 1914 he doubled base pay to $5 and cut shifts to 8 hours, enabling three shifts; the policy stabilized staffing so training wasn’t constantly lost to turnover.

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