“Let it sink…”

Some arguments may become more emotional, likely triggering my anger (I admit, I’m guilty of this). Ultimately, we are controlled by the one who angers us.

Power moves

Beware of What You Think About Yourself!

I’m originally from Eastern Europe, and even after many years in the U.S., I still vividly remember the cultural shock - especially something as simple as playing basketball.

Same situation, two different countries.

We’re playing basketball. Now, according to the Geneva Convention, I probably shouldn’t be allowed to play (it’s too much mental torture for spectators to watch me handle the ball). Anyway, I finally got the ball and prepared to shoot. "Prepare" might be a strong word here, but let’s go with it.

So, I shoot - and, as you might guess, I miss horribly from about five feet away. Not just a miss - a complete brick.

Two very different reactions on different sides of The Pond:

1. In my home country, the opposing team is laughing and cracking jokes. My team is yelling at me, using such colorful expressions about my vision, hands, and overall mental condition that even seasoned stand-up comedians would second-guess their careers and nervously sip their drinks. We were losing. As I write this, I’m starting to realize where some of my childhood traumas may have originated... but I digress.

2. In the U.S., I hear: "Nice try, dude, lol!" "Next time!" "Keep going!" Everyone’s friendly, smiling, and supportive - high-fives from both teams! Naturally, I was like, "WTF?" It was hard to believe it wasn’t sarcasm. Nice people, great culture.

Looking back, those two very different responses shaped how I viewed failure.

In one culture, failure was something to be ashamed of, while in the other, it was just a step toward improvement.

This made me realize that our perception of failure can drastically change the way we approach challenges in life.

Years later, I found an explanation in Nicholas Taleb’s The Black Swan: "American culture encourages even failed attempts, while Eastern and European cultures view failure as shameful and stigmatize it."

So true!

But the story doesn’t stop there.

When you experience failure, you’re likely to start imagining other failures in your head. And that often begins with something as innocent as self-talk.

That’s the best time to slap yourself awake.

Just like “we are what we eat,” we either destroy or strengthen our minds with what we think.

Self-talk is especially dangerous because our thoughts don’t just stay as fleeting ideas. They accumulate over time and create beliefs.

If we’re constantly putting ourselves down, we’ll inevitably believe that we’re not capable of success.

And it will guide our actions.

This simply means that our present thoughts determine our future.

Control your self-talk, or your self-talk will control you!

Change the way you think, and you will change the way you live.

Recently, I’ve added another step to this practice:

"I do NOT complain."

It’s pointless.

It’s wasted energy.

It’s self-pity.

Reminder to myself: “Misery loves company.”

Till next time!

Our favorite digital finds

Short & sweet

The Rut Principle - 6 min read.

Temporary setbacks are dangerous primarily because they can trigger a domino effect, leading us into ruts. By recognizing the Rut Principle, we can break free from these cycles.

A Brain-Changer: How Stress Redesigns our Decision-Making - 2 min read.

Stress is a reaction to challenging situations. By taking proactive steps to reduce stress and promote mental health, we can create a healthier and more productive society.

How to think about time - 12 min read.

Time is a mysterious and elusive concept. By recognizing the distinction between the past, present, and future, we can make informed decisions and live more fulfilling lives.

Press Play

Our pick of the week for deep focus work.

Add this to your shelf

Ben is a co-founder of @a16z.com, the Andreessen Horowitz venture capital firm. In the book, he provides practical advice on handling tough situations and demonstrates that failure is a part of success.

Unpacking the routines of interesting people

Mark Zuckerberg (aka Zuck) - a guy full of surprises. Apart from being the CEO of Meta (ex-Facebook), he is into sports, family, and many other cool things (more on these below).

Fun Cool facts about Zuck:

• Simplicity in Wardrobe: He aims to minimize unnecessary decisions, which is why he is known for wearing simple and consistent clothing—typically a gray T-shirt and jeans.

• Limitation on Social Media: It may seem controversial for the CEO of Meta, but he consciously limits his social media usage to avoid distractions.

• Family Meals Are a Priority: He believes these moments help him stay grounded and connected with his family.

• Personal Challenges: Just to name a few: eating only the meat of animals he has killed himself, training and competing in Jiu-Jitsu, reading a book per week, and being an avid runner.

Very well-balanced life with a lot of insights.

Watch-worthy clips

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