“Let it sink…”

When I saw this quote, I paused to reflect on how others see me.

Then I remembered - I have no flaws. Zero. Flawless.

A walking masterpiece.

So I carried on.

Power moves

Beliefs I've Been Wrong About.

Today, I want to talk about a few of my obvious misbeliefs.

Right now, my career is at an interesting crossroads.

A lot of things are happening - not necessarily because of my professional competence (or incompetence) and not because of my colleagues' talents or epic failures.

They're just happening, shaped by external factors beyond anyone's control.

Let’s start with a story.

1. I Can Control Everything If I Try Hard Enough

For those of you who are new here, I’m from Eastern Europe but now live in the USA.

In my home country, snow lingers for weeks, so driving in it becomes second nature.

It wasn’t optional. You just did it.

Years ago, I moved to North Carolina - a southern state where snow is more of a rare treat. Something you might see every three to four years.

When I saw my first snow forecast here, I was surprised by the response.

Notifications rolled in announcing schools and businesses would be closed due to “inclement weather.”

Grocery stores were wiped clean of milk, eggs, and water.

I braced myself for the apocalypse.

The next morning, there was less than an inch of snow on the ground.

Streets were empty of cars.

Kids were playing, making the most of the little snow they had.

My neighbor was out shoveling - his ritual I once discussed in a previous newsletter.

I went over to chat with him and asked sarcastically if the apocalypse was still on.

“Nope, that’s it” he said.

As a proud Eastern European, I started bitching about the whole situation.

“This is ridiculous. I can drive just fine, and I’m not staying locked up in my house all day.”

His response stuck with me:

“Buddy, it’s not about you. I’m sure you can drive in the snow. It’s about everyone else - the people who moved here from Florida or Texas. They’ve never driven in snow before. That doesn’t mean they won’t try.”

And that made me think.

I’ve been in several car accidents over the years.

Two of our cars were totaled.

I’ve spent countless hours dealing with repairs and ruined family plans.

But!

According to the police reports, none of those accidents were my fault.

Not a single one.

Every time, I was rear-ended.

Yet they still happened.

Life, much like driving, is chaotic.

You can’t control how other people drive, no matter how carefully you handle your own car.

The truth is, control is often an illusion.

Unfortunately, this applies to more than just driving.

We can’t fully control our careers, our health, our relationships, or our future.

The only thing we can control is our inputs - and we hope those inputs will lead to great outputs.

2. Success Will Finally Bring Me Peace or Happiness

My life has been full of milestones that were supposed to make me happy.

To let me finally rest in peace.

I’ve restarted my career multiple times in different domains.

Each time, I’ve been successful, recognized, promoted.

But every time, I still felt like something was missing.

It hit me during a walk with my wife.

At the time, we were living in my two-bedroom apartment and renting out her one-bedroom apartment.

We dreamed of upgrading to a three-bedroom in a better neighborhood.

Eventually, we sold both apartments and bought a brand-new three-bedroom place in a prime location - by a river, near a park, on the 23rd floor with a magnificent view.

We began a six-month renovation project, and during those months, we’d take walks and dream about how perfect our future life would be.

That evening during the walk I said, “Honey…” (Because let’s be honest, we all forget our spouse’s name sometimes)

“Honey, we’re working so hard to get to a place where we think we’ll finally be happy. But imagine this: the day after we move in, the first thing we’ll ask ourselves is, ‘Okay, great. Now what?’”

Happiness, I realized, is like the horizon - an imaginary line that keeps moving the closer you get to it.

Chasing success doesn’t lead to contentment.

It just leads to more chasing.

Happiness is what’s left when you subtract expectations from reality.

I realized that I'm likely to never feel truly settled or completely happy.

3. Other People Have It All Figured Out

No, they don’t. Nobody does.

Confident people build their confidence one step at a time, one small achievement after another.

My friends from the past might look at my life now and think I’ve got it all figured out.

But in 90% of situations, I have no idea what I’m doing.

I just follow Charlie Munger’s advice:

"It is remarkable how much long-term advantage people like us have gotten by trying to be consistently not stupid, instead of trying to be very intelligent."

When I used to look at successful entrepreneurs, I assumed they always knew what they were doing.

But after reading countless biographies, I learned the truth:

They didn’t.

They just tried a lot of things, saw what worked, and doubled down on that.

Take Steve Jobs.

His vision was remarkable, but he wasn’t immune to failures:

• He was ousted from Apple, the company he created. This was so epic.

• He started NeXT Computer, which flopped due to high costs and technical issues.

Obviously, at the time of making decisions at that time, nothing was even close to being figured out.

He made decisions, faced setbacks, and kept moving forward.

My recent correction to how I look at reality:

• Chaos is normal. When I feel like I'm in control, chances are I'm overlooking something.

• Shut up my ego and stay curious - it's okay to figure things out as I go.

• The ride is wild. I might love it, I might hate it. But I’m better off enjoying it.

Till next time.

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