Learn From My Mistakes

Short story of how I break life chaos into small, solvable problems - 3 min read.

Beware What You Wish For

I inherited a few rose bushes from the previous owner.
They looked classy for about five minutes. Then they died.

Truth is, I had no desire to learn rose-care. Desire is stronger than Google-search. I'm not a fan of mid-to-high maintenance anything.

Quick List of Things I Refuse to Maintain

• Shirts → must be non-iron

• Kitchen gadgets → dishwasher-friendly

• Wardrobe → black/grey/red/white/blue, everything matches

• Socks → black only, no pairing headaches

• Crystal wine glasses → don’t buy them

I allow one high-maintenance item - marriage. My wife will laugh at that line, but I accept the consequences.)

Back to the yard. Roses gone. I had to replace them.

Because "curb appeal" is a big deal in the U.S. The HOA (Home Owners Association) is always watching, eager to send you a penalty if your house doesn't flex.

The default option? Mulch.

It looked fine. I even pretended to like it.

But…

Did you know you have to replace mulch every year?

• It fades.

• A leaf blower scatters it like confetti.

• Sometimes it just… disappears.

I had no idea either. So my yard looked great for a few months and then… poof. Another hassle, another bill.

Pro: it’s cheap. $80–$100 kept me covered.
Con: it annoyed me.

After a couple of cycles, I gave up and started researching.

The winner: semi-decorative river stones.

Set it and forget it.

Except… stones cost 10–15x more than mulch.

After some debates with myself, I calculated the need, went to the Stone Center, and ordered 4 tons.

Delivered in "super sacks" (each holds 1.5–1.7 tons). Two full bags and a smaller partial bag made up the order. That nuance turned into… unlucky luck.

Here's how it unfolded.

Friday: two bags delivered. Dumped right in front of the garage. The third partial bag slipped through logistics and was rescheduled for Tuesday.

Fine by me - family on vacation, me stuck at home, plenty of time to clear the entrance.

Saturday: my hell began. The top layer looked great.

Underneath? Disaster!

Whoever filled the bag just scooped from the bottom of the pile - wet sand, debris, gunk. That's what I got.

So the one-weekend project turned into an endless dig. It took me two full days just to get through one cursed bag.

Gloves failed, fingers screaming. I felt like an archaeologist digging for fossils.

By Monday morning, I gave up. At 7:30 sharp, I was at the Stone Center.

The fiery speech I'd prepared all Sunday wasn't even needed. The manager took one look at my pictures, admitted the mistake, and offered a replacement.

But I demanded… satisfaction.

My argument: I wasted an entire weekend while they were closed. Physical pain, mental trauma, possible PTSD.

My counter-offer: fill the third bag with clean stones for free. On the house.

Manager: agreed instantly.

Tuesday: two new bags delivered, the remaining cursed one hauled away.

Problem solved? Ha.

After finishing the project, I still had ~1.5 tons of bonus stones blocking the garage.

So I had to move them.

I dragged the empty sack to the backyard and started ferrying stones by cart, bag-to-bag.

Sounds simple. On paper, yes.

Reality: double the effort.

When you dump stones around bushes, it’s one cart load → dump → done.

But moving stones bag-to-bag? You can’t just dump them. You have to unload one by one.

Which means I moved the same weight twice. With fingers that were already begging for mercy.

Why the rush? The deadline wasn't a date - it was my wife needing her car out of the garage.

Nothing focuses the mind like a car you can't use. Turns out the best project manager isn't a Gantt chart - it's gravity.

That is the lesson hiding under all those stones: the Maintenance Tax…

Pay once or pay forever. Either way, you're paying.

And think twice before negotiating those "extras" for free.

Till next time.

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Cool Facts About Angela Duckworth

Hard Thing Rule: Everyone in her family chooses a “hard thing” that requires daily deliberate practice; you cannot quit mid season or before prepaid lessons end, only at natural stopping points.

Top-Level Goal Filter: She frames choices with a goal hierarchy, keeping one top-level aim (“use psychological science to help kids thrive”) and making lower goals serve it.

Strategic Quitting: She treats quitting as smart when a lower goal no longer advances the top goal; stopping can be gritty if it improves the path to the main aim.

Environment Before Willpower: She favors situation modification for focus: change your space to make distraction harder instead of relying on self control.

Evidence Checks in Real Time: In her Grit Lab class, students record their mood via a phone survey that fills a live grid, and she asks for end-of-class feedback to tweak the next session.

Iterate the Plan: After the first run of Grit Lab, she dropped the semester-long passion project, flipped the sequence to perseverance first, and shortened remote sessions from three hours to two.

Measure, but Doubt Your Metrics: She warns that self report questionnaires, including grit measures, are easy to fake and prone to reference bias, so they should not be used for high stakes decisions.

Quick Self-Assessment: She offers a 12 item Grit Scale as a fast check on perseverance and passion to prompt reflection, not as a final scorecard.

Question-Driven Decisions: As a cohost of No Stupid Questions, she stress tests everyday choices with research, for example whether interview slot timing matters, instead of trusting hunches.

Habit Rituals Over Inspiration: She writes about the “magic of habits” and prefers working in the same place at the same time each day so the work becomes second nature.

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